Day 1 of 30

Your trash keeps me busy...

...or I thought it would.

6:15...

I arrived as instructed at 6:30 AM. Actually I got there about 6:15, just in case. Just in case what... I'm not sure, but I was there. There were three others standing there outside the jail, waiting for something. No one seemed very happy. I am sure they were just as innocent as I was of the crimes that we were being punished for. The time seemed to crawl!!! Slowly, one by one, more people arrived. By 7AM, there were about 100 people there. I thought, "WOW! There are a bunch of us criminals here!"

7:00...

Eventually this tough looking, short deputy walked over and yelled. I found out later his name was something like Officer Quiggly... I think. I heard someone call him Squiggly. Everyone makes fun of the cops here.

He called attendance and once your name was yelled and you hollered back, you had to go to the other side of the building to sign in. Because it was my first time there I had to sign another paper. The paper told me things that I should have been told from the beginning.

• Be On Time
• Wear work clothes. T-shirt and jeans are fine. No restrictions on colors, logos, styles, etc. They preferred long pants because we would be walking in tall grass at times.
• I would be charged $5 a day to work for them. (ANOTHER FEE!!!)
• No cell phones.
• No smoking.
• No Drugs
• No Weapons
• No Explosives
• etc.

All good things to know.

I was relieved however, that it said nothing about an iPod. That would definitely make the day pass faster. Over all the rules list eased some of my worries. I would not be bringing bombs, drugs, or guns to work anyway, so I was fine!

Not to mention, most people there were wearing shorts, smoking cigarettes, carrying small bags with their lunches in it, listening to iPod, reading books, etc. So it seamed like just another day on the job.

That didn't last long.

7:30...

They sent us over to an area of the parking lot where we were to pick up our bright yellow caution vests. They were all stuck together with the Velcro that is used to fasten them around your waist. A big guy named Ray sat on the ground and started pulling them apart and handing them out. Ray seemed like a nice guy. Gentle Giant kind of guy. I could tell that he had been established in the group as the guy that is quirky enough that he could not avoid certain taunts and teases, but only to a certain point because he was always willing to help somebody out, and lets face it... EVERYBODY here needs some helping out.

8:00...

The buses started to arrive around 8, and certain people went to certain buses. I asked Office Quiggly what I was supposed to do. Were we assigned to certain buses? Did they all go the same place? What was I supposed to do? He informed me that There were not assigned buses and that they would not be going the same place. I decided to just get on the bus that had arrived first. I walked on the bus and started looking for a seat. It felt like 3rd grade again. A grown woman yelled from the front of the bus,

"NO ONE SIT IN THE SECOND TO LAST SEAT ON THE LEFT SIDE, THAT IS MY SEAT!"

The bus actually filled up fast and certain people were NOT going to share their benches at all. Another guy yelled from his seat to the driver.

"Hey Lee!!! There are too many people on this bus, some need to be kicked off. Just remember who has been working with you fpr all this time!"

It felt like a... "MOM, Bobbie won't clean up his half of the room, and I cleaned ALL of mine!" Nananana boo boo...

I quickly volunteered to leave that bus. They were ALL grumpy.

I walked over to where everyone was waiting to board the other two buses. It looked like one group was all latino, and the other group was everyone else...

The Days Before Day 1 of 30

BUSTED!!!

After a series of very unfortunate events (that included myself getting caught driving on a suspended license)... I was ordered by the Judge to serve 30 days in the Collier County Weekend Work Program and complete 1 Year Probation.

The first mention of the weekend work program seemed fine! No problem! I can work on weekends, I mean after all, I had just lost my job a few weeks ago. I wasn't busy. Not to mention, it was a whole lot better than doing jail time. I accepted the plea and waited to hear what all of this meant.

The judge explained to me that I was to show up at the jail the following Saturday at 6:30am and I would receive instruction. Sounded simple enough. My mind was still spinning at the moment thinking about how I had narrowly escaped a felony conviction.

The next few weeks had me going back and forth, worrying about what I would be doing. While registering for probation, I met this guy Derrick. He had been on the program before. He said it was no big deal. He only warned me of two things.

1.) Be on time. (He had fallen asleep once and it caused him a violation of his probation. (Something I can not afford!))

2.) Don't offer to carry the water jug instead of collecting trash. At first it seams like it is the better choice. But that thing is f@#$%g heavy!!!

I took note of his advice.

I talked to my probation officer a couple days later, after I had some time to think about it. I asked him what dress code was, how long it would last, if I was to bring my own lunch... He basically told me that I was fine to work in what I was wearing at the moment. (Black Calvin Klein shirt, Lucky Brand Jeans, and Black Leather Kenneth Cole shoes... hmmmm.) He was not sure on the other items.

So I decided I would call them.

There is no them. I could not find a phone number for the program, and the jail told me the same thing that the judge said... "be there at 6:30 AM on Saturday." I searched EVERYWHERE! Google could find nothing about the program. Nothing online even acknowledged its existence.

CRAP.

I was not sure what I had to wear. I was worried. It was hot, could I wear shorts? Could I wear a T-shirt? Did it have to be solid? Could it have any logo, or print on it? If I wore the wrong thing, would they make me wear a bright orange jump suit?

To top it off... I was sleeping in Naples for the night and I live in Fort Myers... What would I do with an overnight bag if I brought one... I was sure they would not let me carry it with me all day. And if one of the many cameras on the side of the buildings saw me stashing a duffle bag in the bushes, I would be most likely be jumped by a SWAT team.

Oh well. I decided to play it safe. I wore khaki carpenter pants and a white t-shirt. I felt like I had all bases covered that way. I would wear gym shorts underneath so I would be able to wash my clothes and have something to change into. If they were going to make me where a funky monkey suit... then I would just have to wear the suit.